I Need You
by Caffie
Summary: HYxRP. Songfic, Relena's POV, her thoughts. - Finished, for now anyways, not up for continuation by another - 1 Chapter


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**~ I Need You ~**

_**Author:**_ Cattie.**_  
Rating: _**PG (Never G!)_**  
Chapters: **_1 / 1?**_  
Disclaimer: _**Oh whatever. I can't even bother writing something clever here anyways, you all know what this bit is, and no-one reads it anyway!!

**_Authors Comments:_** I am on holiday. Feel thankful that I actually got so bored that I wrote one of the million fics that are swimming round in my head.

And feel thankful that I didn't inflict one of my 7 short stories, or my 28 page novel for English upon your poor, tortured souls. Tee-hee.

Oh, and I know this is kinda HYxRP, except for the fact that Heero doesn't show up at all. Strange, ne?

Oh, oh, oh, and the song in this is 'I Need You', by LeAnn Rimes, and it's from the 'Jesus' soundtrack... or something... And I'm not a big LeAnn Rimes fan, (when her first song came out I hated her, and every time she would come on TV I would call her a big-head, along with other stuff, and change channels. I was soooo jealous back then!!), but alot of her songs seem to fit Heero and Relena. So, along with 'Can't Fight...etc' and 'The Right Kind...etc', and this, there will be more LeAnn Rimes - HYxRP songfics from me... blah...

And you know what??!! Putting this through spell-checker after I finished it, it wanted to re-name Mariemeia 'Macromedia'!!! LoL.

Oh, and Plz review!! [][1]e-mail me your comments!!

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**I don't need a lot of things  
I can get by with nothing**

Everyone always thinks of me as Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian, or former queen of the world, Relena Peacecraft.

Am I so selfish to want someone to think of me as **me**?

**  
Of all the blessings life can bring**

Sure, I have everything anyone could ever want, but still I'm not happy.

  
** I've always needed something**

Am I really that spoilt?

  
** But I've got all I want  
When it comes to loving you**

Is it to much to ask to be loved?

Not adored, though. Love.

And not sibling caring. Love.

  
** You're my only reason  
You're my only truth**

But there's only one person I love. And he will never love me back.

I used to kid myself into thinking he actually felt love for me, but that was just a childish hope.  
  
** I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain**

Everyday, when I get up, I tell myself what I have forced myself into believing. That he does **not** love me.

  
** I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate**

But my silly, childish heart still hangs on to that one last thread, and at night it tortures me, whispers 'maybes' and 'if's' to my helpless mind, bring him to light again, forcing me to relive every memory I have ever had of him.

  
** There's a freedom in your arms**

The Beach, my school,

  
** That carries me through**

Every single time I saw the gundams battling, and how I would gasp as Wing would appear on the screen,

  
** I need you**

And after the Mariemeia incident, when I held him in my arms.

But that was years ago.  
  
** You're the hope that moves me  
To courage again**

He's the only reason I keep going though.

I once overheard Noin saying that.

Her exact words were 'You know she only fights in that political battlefield for him, don't you. You know she only does it so he doesn't need to fight anymore!'

She was wrong though.

  
** You're the love that rescues me  
When the cold winds, rage**

Wrong to a certain degree.

I do keep going, so that he doesn't need to fight. But that isn't all of it.

You see, I'm horribly spoilt and selfish, and even though my head accepts Noin's reason for why I am still doing this, my heart, and only my heart tells me the truth.

I do it so, maybe, just maybe, he would eventually see me as strong enough, and love me.

Don't look so shocked, I told you I was selfish.

  
** And it's so amazing  
'Cause that's just how you are**

He's so strong, why can't I be like him?

  
** And I can't turn back now**

If I hadn't have walked home, that fateful day, I could have had a husband, a peaceful home, maybe some children.

I wouldn't have to keep fighting this on-going war of words, with egoistical old men, who think I'm nothing more than a silly little airhead.

Maybe they're right.

  
** 'Cause you've brought me too far**

But I can't have all of that now. Not now.

The war, the pilots, the gundams, the battles, they've all dragged me down.

Down into reality. Not some spoiled little rich girl existence.

Oh, if only I hadn't taken that route home. If only Darlian hadn't saved me, if only I had never been a Peacecraft, if only I had taken the car that day, if only...

  
** I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain**

But then I would never have met him. Never have felt true love, even if it is un-requited.

I could never live without him, I would have an empty shell of a life without him. Or even no life.

  
** I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate**

But I don't need him.

  
** There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through**

Morning is coming, So therefore I don't need him anymore.

I can't need him, it's morning, time for work.

I need to forget him again

  
** I need you  
Oh yes I do**  


The young vice minister stands , abandoning her crouched position at the edge of the cliff, finally noticing the stains and rips that have adorned her smart business attire for hours, straightening her honey colored hair which has been lashing wildly around her face, but still not seeing the rivulets of now dried tears streaking her older, mature face.

  
** I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain**

Honestly, I don't need him. I never have.

  
** I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate**

And I certainly don't love him.

  
** There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through**

I'm strong, I'll manage. After all, I'm Relena Peacecraft, current Vice Foreign Minister, ex-Queen of the World.

Just because I come out here, at night, and cry, with my only confidants being the impassive moon, a simple rock hung in the wide expanse of space, and the twinkling, innocent stars. Most of those stars are inhabited, but nobody there will care about the selfish musings of a spoilt child. The spoilt child that maintains peace everyday, so they may live in peace.

Maybe he's on one of those glittering orbs in space... maybe he's thinking of me...

Maybe isn't good enough, Relena, wise up, don't undo so many years of forgetting in just one night.

I don't need him.

  
** I need you**

She finishes dusting off her clothing and hair, finally looking like the pristine young adult that graces meetings, functions and anything else they need her for, every single day. The mask is back in place.

And says to the moon, and stars...

_'Thanks for listening, but just so you know, I don't need him._

  
** Oh yes I do  
I need you  
I need you**

But then her heart whispers the last, passing remark as she turns, leaves the dawning sun, the ever attentive moon and blinking stars. It whispers the truth that her head has managed to block at all points, except night. 

_'Oh Heero, I still need you...'_

   [1]: mailto:cayt@saintly.com



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